i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
