The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize