Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
