porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Everclear isn't food dammit
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
