rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize