He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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