i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
