Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
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