me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
