i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
