It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Someone signed my nipple.
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