No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
