There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
