who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Randomize
