Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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