I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
