Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
