oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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