She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
My feet surprised me
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
