I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
