Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
do herpes really smell.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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