so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Randomize
