Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
