So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Randomize
