dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Boobs are out for the taking
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize
