Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
