Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
