Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Randomize
