He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
