Kareoke will never be a sober sport
barbara walters just said penis...
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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