don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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