it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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