That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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