thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
