The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
