Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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