not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
