Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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