Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Randomize
