My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
