I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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