Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize