I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
How's work?
Spinning.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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