I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize