I'm so fucking centered right now
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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