wakey wakey hands off snakey
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
