angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Dick very happy bro
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
