he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
