It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
