you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
