apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
