Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
