When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
