Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
