is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize