I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
