Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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