Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
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