I CAN MOONWALK!
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Randomize