It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
