I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
