Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I touched a dick in church today
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
