I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Randomize
